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Suggested Negative Ads for Obama, McCain

Posted by Bill Lee on August 22, 2008 at 08:13 PM

OK, having come out in favor of negative ads -- provided they're more artfully done than the typical hack job -- I thought I'd offer a suggestion for each of the campaigns. They are in keeping with the high road of negative campaigning carved out in the business world by Apple, in its Mac vs. PC ads!

Note to Obama and McCain campaigns: I could crank out lots more of these, for a reasonable fee:) Have your people call my people!


Scene opens to an older, white haired gentleman, "M," slowly sweeping up some trash with a a rather small, tired looking broom. In walks "O," a tall, nice looking, young African American fellow with a dynamic looking team of 3 or 4 others, wearing platic hard hats, carrying laptops and blueprints.

O: Hey M, what are you up to?

M: Well as anyone can see O, I'm cleaning up the mess in Washington and changing the way it works.

O: Wall that's great M. So . . . how long have you been at it?

M: I've been doing this for 25 years. I have experience at this sort of thing!

POV sweeps to one side, revealing a huge group of messy piles of trash and garbage. They dwarf the relatively tiny container M has been laboriously filling up. One is labeled "Corruption." Another "Deficit." Others are labeled "Katrina," "Crumbling Infrastructure," "Guantanimo," "Foreign Policy."

O and M both look at the huge, untouched mess. Then M turns to O and angrily points his broom at him.

M: Now just a second, O!

O (sympathetically): I'm just thinking M . . .

At that point, M's worn out broom breaks, as M looks sadly down at it.

O: . . . maybe it's time to bring in another team


Scene opens in a generic convenience store, where a very (very) young African American fellow is adjusting one of the sign displays on a shelf. In walks a distinguished white haired gentleman.

M: Oh, hi O. What's going on?

O: Well, I've just completely reinvented this whole place.

M (gently skeptical): Ohhh? How so?

O: Well just take a look! See these signs here? Well, I just moved them; they were way over there. And see these shelves here? See how they're going this way? I just re-arranged them! They were going that way.

M: Hmm, OK. Well, good job! So what are you going to do next?

At this point, a customer walks into the background and begins searching for something. He looks confused.

O: Well, next I'm going to be Chief Executive of the federal government, Commander in Chief of the US Armed Forces and Leader of the Free World. I'm going to fix the way things work in Washington, end global warming, defeat terrorism with soaring rhetoric, solve the energy crisis, and make everyone else in the world love us.

M looks at O with his mouth slightly open. He's speechless.

O: And that's just for starters!

At this point the customer in the bg turns to O.

CUSTOMER: Hey, where the heck did you put the burpee machine?

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